ART PEOPLE AND A COW
ANDY ROBOT (ANDY ATTACKS!)
Andy Warhol said a lot of things.
One of the things Warhol said was, “I’d like to be a machine.”
So I made him a machine.
2005
Color Digital Print | Hahnemuhle Photo Rag 308
30" x 41"
Edition of 5
DAMIEN HIRST MAKES A RUG
Damien Hirst is the guy who cuts up cows and puts the pieces in formaldehyde.
Some Comfort Gained from the Acceptance of the Inherent Lies in Everything features a cow cut into 12 pieces and ensconced in 12 separate tanks of formaldehyde.
An anonymous letter to the artist referred to him as the Josef Mengele of the animal world and suggested Hirst’s “nasty little perverted brain” was pickled.
(Mengele was a particularly nasty Nazi physician who experimented on humans.)
A reviewer in the Independent wondered if Hirst suffered from mad cow disease.
Am I the Mengele of the rug world?
Do I suffer from mad cow rug disease?
2005
Color Digital Print | Hahnemuhle Photo Rag 308
41" x 30"
Edition of 5
PORTRAIT OF ROY LICHTENSTEIN AS A (YELLOW) BENDAY DOT
(Sung to the tune of “Short Shorts”)
Who likes Benday dots?
Roy Lichtenstein likes Benday dots!
Who likes Roy Lichtenstein as a Benday dot?
I like Roy Lichtenstein as a Benday dot!
2005
Color Digital Print | Hahnemuhle Photo Rag 308
30" x 30"
Edition of 5
Also available as a red, purple and green Benday dot.
I LOVE JEFF KOONS AND CHOCOLATE!
I love Jeff Koons.
Critic Robert Hughes does not love Koons and wrote that he is “an extreme and self-satisfied manifestation of the sanctimony that attaches to big bucks. Koons really does think he’s Michelangelo and is not shy to say so. The significant thing is that there are collectors, especially in America, who believe it. He has the slimy assurance, the gross patter about transcendence through art, of a blow-dried Baptist selling swamp acres in Florida. And the result is that you can’t imagine America’s singularly depraved culture without him.”
Critic Robert Hughes probably does not love chocolate either.
2005
Color Digital Print | Hahnemuhle Photo Rag 308
30" x 42"
Edition of 5
JIM RISWOLD LOVES JORDAN SCHNITZER
Jordan Schnitzer is the biggest art collector in town.
He’s got more art than the Portland Art Museum.
But he could always use some more.
Hint.
2005 | Real live shopping cart filled with art from Art People and a Cow.
2005
Color Digital Print | Hahnemuhle Photo Rag 308
20" x 25.5"
Edition of 5
DROPPED RAUSCHENBERG
In 1953, Robert Rauschenberg bought a sketch from Wilhelm de Kooning for $500.
And erased it.
He called it Erased de Kooning Drawing.
Instant art sainthood.
In 2009, I made a chocolate St. Rauschenberg.
And dropped it.
2005
Color Digital Print | Hahnemuhle Photo Rag 308
30" x 38.2"
Edition of 5
JEFF KOONS HOME™ EXCLUSIVELY AT WALMART
Is there really a line of household goodies at Walmart called Jeff Koons Home™?
2005
Carpet
88" x 54" | 3.5" Framed
Edition of 5
GARNISHED HIRST TARTARE
How does a cow cut up into 12 pieces and pickled in formaldehyde become art?
Damien Hirst said, “A guy from [a] knacker’s yard in Guildford cuts the cows. He cuts all the hard bone areas first, like the head, the sternum and the pelvis. Then he ties it back together, freezes it solid over two days and chainsaws the rest of it. Then he delivers it to us at the studio where the dirty work starts: we have to inject it constantly for around a week in a swimming pool–sized tank of formaldehyde, wearing dry suits and masks. We have to take all the shit out of its stomachs. The liquid has turned brown and [we] are up to our knees in it.”
That’s how.
2005
Color Digital Print | Hahnemuhle Photo Rag 308
30" x 40.5"
Edition of 5
PORTRAIT OF JIM RISWOLD AS CINDY SHERMAN, UNTITLED #138
Cindy Sherman said, “The still [photograph] must tease with the promise of a story the viewer of it itches to be told.”
My dad asked me, “Son, what’s the story behind you dressed like a woman?”
I said, “Dad, it’s Cindy Sherman!”
Then he said, “Who’s Cindy Sherman?”
My dad is very itchy.
2005
Color Digital Print | Hahnemuhle Photo Rag 308
30" x 44.5"
Edition of 5
PORTRAIT OF JIM RISWOLD AS CINDY SHERMAN, UNTITLED #211
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and gay!
And I pity
Anyone who isn’t Cindy Sherman Untitled #211 today.
2005
Color Digital Print | Hahnemuhle Photo Rag 308
17" x 22"
Edition of 5