BAD PEOPLE HAVE TO EAT TOO
KIM JONG IL IS A BIG (TANGERINE) SUCKER!
Kim Jong Il’s biography says his birth was “foretold by a swallow and heralded by a glorious double rainbow and the appearance of a new star.”
Kim Jong Il was also a really big sucker.
2007
20" x 41" | AP
Edition of 5
KIM JONG IL IS A BIG (PIÑA COLADA) SUCKER!
Kim Jong Il had a lot of nicknames: General, Leader, Great Leader, Brilliant Leader, The Dear Leader, Guiding Sun Ray, Shining Star of Paektu Mountain, Guiding Star of the 21st Century, Party Center, Sun of the Communist Future, Iron-Willed Commander, and Highest Incarnation of Revolutionary Comradely Love.
Kim Jong Il was also a really big sucker.
2007
20" x 41" | AP
Edition of 5
KIM JONG IL IS A BIG (CHERRY) SUCKER!
Kim Jong Il was a really short dictator.
Kim Jong Il was 5’3” short.
Kim Jong Il wore lifts to make him 5’7” short.
Kim Jong Il was also a really big sucker.
2007
20" x 41" | AP
Edition of 5
KIM JONG IL IS A BIG (BLUEBERRY) SUCKER!
Kim Jong Il, like dictator worth his salt, was sadistic, paranoid, antisocial, narcissistic, schizoid and schizotypal.
Despite these faults, North Korean media claimed Kim Jong Il was the most loved living statesman and countries all over the world celebrated his birthday with really big festivals.
Kim Jong Il was also a really big sucker.
2007
20" x 41" | AP
Edition of 5
KIM JONG IL IS A BIG (LICORICE) SUCKER!
Kim Jong Il was a really big Elvis Presley fan.
Like fat Elvis, Kim Jong Il was fond of ill-fitting jumpsuits, really big hair and really big glasses.
Kim Jong Il was also a really big sucker.
2007
20" x 41" | AP
Edition of 5
KIM JONG IL IS A BIG (LEMON) SUCKER!
Kim Jong Il was a really big movie buff.
Kim Jong Il’s favorite movies were Rambo, Godzilla and Friday the 13th.
Kim Jong Il had a really big movie collection of over 20,000 titles.
Kim Jong Il was also a really big sucker.
2007
20" x 41" | AP
Edition of 5
KIM JONG IL IS A BIG (LIME) SUCKER!
Kim Jong Il was a really big movie buff, Part 2.
Kim Jong Il had South Korean film director Shin Sang-ok and his actress wife Choi Eunhee kidnapped to help build the North Korean film industry.
The couple managed to escape while location scouting in Austria.
In an effort to head off any future defections from his film industry, Kim Jong Il ordered his Ministry of Culture to “make more cartoons.”
Kim Jong Il was also a really big sucker.
2007
20" x 41" | AP
Edition of 5
KIM JONG IL IS A BIG (ROOT BEER) SUCKER!
Kim Jong Il invented the hamburger.
North Korean state-run media said the Guiding Star of the 21st Century created a new sandwich called “double bread with meat” in an attempt to provide really good food to university students.
Kim Jong Il was also a really big sucker.
2007
20" x 41" | AP
Edition of 5
KIM JONG IL IS A BIG (GRAPE) SUCKER!
Kim Jong Il is the greatest golfer in history.
North Korean state media said the first time The Highest Incarnation of Revolutionary Comradely Love played golf, he shot 38 under par and made five holes in one.
Kim Jong Il is also a really big sucker.
2007
20" x 41" | AP
Edition of 5
KIM JONG IL IS A BIG (WATERMELON) SUCKER!
Former United State Secretary of State Madeleine Albright gave him a basketball autographed by Michael Jordan.
Kim Jong Il was also a really big sucker.
2007
20" x 41" | AP
Edition of 5
AVE CAESAR, MORITURI TE SALUTANT
Hollywood would have us believe that before combat, gladiators would shout, “Ave Caesar, morituri te salutant.”
It means, “Caesar, we who are about to die salute you.”
It is a myth.
It is no myth the lifespan of a gladiator was short. Most died a brutal death and few survived more than 10 matches or made it to their 30th birthday.
So, it is more likely that before combat they said something like, “Ave Caesar, occupatio odi meos.”
It means, “Caesar, I hate my job.”
2007
Color Digital Print | Museo Silver Rag
30" x 45"
Edition of 5
ADOLF ’N’ EVA’S WEDDING CAKE
Eva: Adolf, honey, what do you want to do for our honeymoon?
Adolf: Kill ourselves.
Eva: I love you too, Adolf.
2005
20" x 30"
Edition of 5
THE KAISER
Kaiser Wilhelm’s official title was His Imperial and Royal Majesty William the Second, by the Grace of God, German Emperor and King of Prussia, Margrave of Brandenburg, Burgrave of Nuremberg, Count of Hohenzollern, Duke of Silesia and of the County of Glatz, Grand Duke of the Lower Rhine and Grand Duchy of Posen, Duke in Saxony, of Angria, of Westphalia, of Pomerania and of Lunenburg, Duke of Schleswig, of Holstein and of Krosno Odrza Crossen, Duke of Magdeburg, of Bremen, of Guelderland and of Cleves and Berg, Duke of the Wends and the Kashubians, of Lauenburg and of Mecklenburg, Landgrave of Hesse and in Thuringia, Margrave of Upper and Lower Lusatia, Prince of Orange, of Rugen, of East Friesland, of Paderborn and of Bad Pyrmont, Prince of Halberstadt, of Münster, of Minden, of Osnabrück, of Hildesheim, of Verden, of Kammin, of Fulda, of Nassau and of Moers, Princely Count of House of Henneberg, Count of the County, of Ravensberg, of Sayn-Wittgenstein-Hohenstein, of Tecklenburg and of Lingen, Count of Mansfeld, of Sigmaringen and of Veringen, Lord of Frankfurt.
He was also a douche bag.
2007
30" x 30" | AP
Edition of 3
STALIN’S CUPCAKES
Stalin, like all good dictators, was paranoid.
Stalin said, “I trust no one, not even myself.”
There is no evidence Stalin liked cupcakes.
2007
30" x 30" | AP
Edition of 5
CUSTER’S LAST FRUIT AND VEGETABLE STAND
George Armstrong Custer is a myth’s myth.
Custer fought exactly two battles in the Indian Wars.
He won one and lost one.
He won the Battle of Washita on November 27, 1868. Attacking a sleeping Cheyenne village at dawn, his troops, by most accounts other than his own, killed more old men, women and children than warriors.
Custer also had 675 of the village’s horses shot.
He lost the Battle of the Little Bighorn on June 25, 1876.
Custer’s Last Stand lasted less than 15 minutes, and a force a tad more battle ready than sleeping old men, women and children defeated him.
2014
40" x 59" | AP
Edition of 10
WILL YOU BE MY VALENTINE, CHAIRMAN MAO?
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Sugar is sweet
And Mao said, “In order to build a great socialist society, it is of the utmost importance to arouse the broad masses of women to join in productive activity.”
2006
Color Digital Print | Museo Silver Rag
30” x 30” | AP | Edition of 3