SELLING JESUS
BLACK AND WHITE LAST SUPPER
You can buy lots of Last Supper tchotchkes featuring a blonde-haired, blue-eyed Jesus and lots of blonde-haired, blue-eyed disciples.
You can buy a few Last Supper tchotchkes featuring a black-haired, brown-eyed, African Jesus with lots of black-haired, brown-eyed, African disciples.
You can’t buy any Last Supper tchotchkes featuring an Asian Jesus and lots of Asian disciples.
2008
B&W Digital Print | Hahnemuhle William Turner
24" x 59"
Edition of 5
THE PUPPET HEAD OF JOHN THE BAPTIST ON A PLATTER
Matthew 14:6-8 says, "But when Herod's birthday was celebrated, the daughter of Herodias danced before them and pleased Herod. Therefore he promised with an oath to give her whatever she might ask. So she, having been prompted by her mother, said, ‘Give me John the Baptist's head here on a platter.'"
ThePuppetStore.com says, "Carry on the great work of this wonderful man with our brand new ‘John The Baptist' puppet! Beautifully detailed with long brown ‘realistic' hair, beard and mustache, faux camel fur robe with dark brown belt, and sculpted bare feet to make an incredible impact! Add him to your ministry for only $24.95 plus shipping!"
ThePuppetStore.com likes to use exclamation points when describing John the Baptist puppets.
2008
B&W Digital Print | Hahnemuhle William Turner
13" x 17" Image | 24" x 28" Paper
Edition of 5
11 NATIVITY SCENES IN ONE
St. Francis of Assisi invented the three-dimensional nativity scene in 1223. He used only straw and a real ox and donkey.
NativitySets.com says it offers, “The largest selection of nativity sets at prices that fit most any budget,” including the Estate Collection 15-Piece Outdoor Nativity Set for $5,299.99.
Shipping not included.
NativitySets.com also says, “If you happen to find the Estate Collection 15-Piece Outdoor Nativity Set at a lower price, contact us before you buy.”
2008
B&W Digital Print | Hahnemuhle William Turner
13" x 13" Image | 24" x 24" Paper
Edition of 5
LAST SUPPER (DETAIL)
Good food,
Good meat,
Good Lord
Let’s eat.
Amen.
2008
B&W Digital Print | Hahnemuhle William Turner
5" x 7.5" Image | 11" x 13.5" Paper
Edition of 5
THE BEATLES ARE BIGGER THAN JESUS
On March 4, 1966, John Lennon told the London Evening Standard, “Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I don’t know what will go first, rock ’n’ roll or Christianity. We’re more popular than Jesus now. Jesus was all right, but his disciples were thick and ordinary.”
On July 31, 1966, the interview was published in the States. Soon afterward, some very upset American Christians burned Beatles albums.
On August 11, 1966, Lennon said, “I wasn’t saying whatever they’re saying I was saying. I’m sorry I said it really. I never meant it to be a lousy anti-religious thing. I apologize if that will make you happy. I still don’t know quite what I’ve done. I’ve tried to tell you what I did do, but if you want me to apologize, if that will make you happy, then OK, I’m sorry.”
Lennon later said, “I always remember to thank Jesus for the end of my touring days; if I hadn’t said that The Beatles were ‘bigger than Jesus’ and upset the very Christian Klu Klux Klan, well, Lord, I might still be up there with all the other performing fleas! God bless America. Thank you, Jesus.”
2008
B&W Digital Print | Hahnemuhle William Turner
13" x 19.5" Image | 24" x 30" Paper
Edition of 5
HOSPITAL JESUS
O good Jesus, I accept willingly this sickness which it has pleased you to lay upon me. I confide all my pains to your Sacred Heart, and beg you to unite them with your bitter sufferings, and thus perfect them by making them your own.
Since I cannot render you the praise due to you because of the multitude of my sorrows and afflictions, I ask you to praise God the Father for all I suffer, with the same tribute of praise you offered him when your agony on the Cross was at its height.
As you thanked him with all the powers of your soul for all the sufferings and injustice which he willed you should endure, so, I pray you, give him thanks for my trials also. Offer my sufferings, physical and spiritual, to him together with your most holy pains to his eternal honor and glory.
—Catholic Prayer in Time of Sickness or Trial
2008
B&W Digital Print | Hahnemuhle William Turner
13" x 19.5" Image | 24" x 30" Paper
Edition of 5
HAIL MARY FULL OF PENCILS
The Hail Mary is the most familiar of prayers to honor Mary.
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee;
blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
She is also honored as a pencil holder.
2008
B&W Digital Print | Hahnemuhle William Turner
11" x 13" Image | 24" x 29" Paper
Edition of 5
EASTER BASKET JESUS
Last year, Americans spent $1,900,000,000 on Easter candy.
Last year, Americans ate 7,000,000,000 lbs. of Easter candy.
Last year, Americans ate 90,000,000 chocolate Easter bunnies. 76% of Americans say they eat the ears first.
Last year, Americans ate 16,000,000,000 jelly beans at Easter. 16,000,000,000 jelly beans would circle Earth three times.
2008
B&W Digital Print | Hahnemuhle William Turner
16.25" x 13" Image | 28" x 24" Paper
Edition of 5
RETIRED JESUS
On April 27, 2006, Pray Live staged a national prayer rally to ask Jesus to lower prices at the pump.
The group’s founder, Wenda Royster, claimed that many people were “overlooking the power of prayer when it comes to resolving this energy crisis.”
Jesus needs a break.
Amen.
2008
B&W Digital Print | Hahnemuhle William Turner
15.25" x 13" Image | 28" x 24" Paper
Edition of 5
LA DOLCE VITA JESUS
Jesus is a movie star.
Mel Gibson’s The Passion of The Christ earned $810,000,000 at the box office. 1979’s Jesus, financed by the Catholic Church, is the most-watched film of all time.
My favorite Jesus movie is Fellini’s “La Dolce Vita”.
Jesus steals the opening scene.
A statue of Jesus with arms outstretched is suspended from a helicopter as it flies over the ruins of an ancient Roman viaduct and over girls in bikinis on modern Roman rooftops, on its way to the Pope at the Vatican.
“Look! It’s Jesus,” cries out one of the rooftop sunbathers. These are the first words of the movie.
It is a stunning and shocking comment on man’s dual nature as holy and profane.
The Vatican condemned it.
2008
B&W Digital Print | Hahnemuhle William Turner
56" x 32" Image | 68" x 44" Paper
Edition of 3
JESUS, MEET JIM RISWOLD; JIM RISWOLD, MEET JESUS
Wishful thinking?
2008
B&W Digital Print | Hahnemuhle William Turner
13" x 17" Image | 24" x 28" Paper
Edition of 5
WAL-MART ISN'T THE ONLY SAVINGS PLACE
“Frivolity has no place in advertising. Nor has humor. People do not buy from clowns.”
—Claude C. Hopkins, My Life in Advertising
2008
B&W Digital Print | Hahnemuhle William Turner
13" x 15.5" Image | 19" x 21.5" Paper
Edition of 5
GOD ANSWERS KNEE-MAIL
“I advise you to include the brand name in your headline. If you don’t, 80 percent of your readers will never know what product you are advertising.”
—David Ogilvy, Ogilvy on Advertising
2008
B&W Digital Print | Hahnemuhle William Turner
13" x 15.5" Image | 19" x 21.5" Paper
Edition of 5
CH_RCH: THE ONLY THING MISSING IS U
“The headline should convey information that produces the response ‘Hey, they’re talking to me. They’re saying something important to me.’ Despite what you may have heard, the use of ‘you’ or ‘yours’ in a headline does not increase readership. Nor does naming the advertiser.”
—John E. O’Toole, The Trouble with Advertising
2008
B&W Digital Print | Hahnemuhle William Turner
13" x 15.5" Image | 19" x 21.5" Paper
Edition of 5
THIS IS A SIGN FROM GOD
“Do not boast. Boasting is repulsive.”
—Claude C. Hopkins, Scientific Advertising
2008
B&W Digital Print | Hahnemuhle William Turner
13" x 15.5" Image | 19" x 21.5" Paper
Edition of 5